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Home » Health Articles » Does The Smoker Personality Resist Common Stopsmoking Approaches

Does The “Smoker Personality” Resist Common Stop-Smoking Approaches?

If you're a smoker, and people around you know it, you're probably barraged by demands to stop. Some are caring and kindly. Others abrasive, even disgusted. Do the people you love quote scary facts and figures at you? Does it make you want to stop? No? Thought so.

Or maybe you yourself want to stop smoking. You may even be heard to say that you desperately want to stop smoking. Uh-oh. Desperation may make it harder to stop.

So is there no way out? Nothing you can do? There is something. And it's startlingly simple. Here it is: Let smoking cessation be a desire for you. Something you want—and choose—to do.

Even if your doctor, your spouse, and your best buddies say "You absolutely must stop smoking!" make it that you want to stop smoking. It's a desire. Desires are more compelling than orders, aren't they? That's because orders make you angry and you want to ignore them.

Give an adult an order and he or she quickly reverts to a willful five-year-old. "I will NOT!" The voice may have gotten deeper but the attitude stays the same.

What if you were ordered to eat your favorite cake? Maybe you'd eat it. Maybe not. But most certainly it wouldn't be as fun as choosing to eat your favorite cake.

Desires, rather than orders, threats, or commands, are alluring. Desirable. Seductive.

They invite you to do something, and let you know it's what you've wanted to do all along. So invite yourself to be a nonsmoker, the way you'd invite someone special to a lovely dinner party. How to do that?

First, think of what it would be like to be a nonsmoker. Might your hair smell fresher? What about your breath and clothes? Might your teeth look whiter without nicotine to stain them yellow and, eventually, brown? Would you prefer to keep your teeth as you get older instead of succumbing to gum disease and tooth loss, as many smokers eventually do?

How about fewer trips to the dry cleaners to keep your clothes odor-free? What would you do with the savings? After some years, they could be substantial. And would you enjoy having fewer age lines, and fresher, clearer skin as you age? Does improved breathing sound good to you? It should because it can mean appearing younger, walking and running easily, and having more stamina for most activities, including sex.

Here's another benefit you might enjoy: lower insurance costs. Extra money to put toward a vacation or your next shiny, new car. Why lower insurance costs? That's because many insurance companies penalize smokers because they're statistically likely to run up higher health-care bills. And if we're talking about life insurance, nonsmokers tend to live longer and healthier.

But if you're considering just lying about being a nonsmoker, beware. Yes, beware. Because if your insurance company were to discover that your illness was caused or exacerbated by your smoking, and their records show you claimed to be a nonsmoker, they might choose to fight against paying health care costs. Is it really worth all that just to put a white stick between your lips and inhale tar and other poisons?

But that white stick seemed to do something for you that we haven't taken into account yet. Fair is fair, so let's make a list.

It gave you something to do.
It made you look like you were doing something so you didn't seem lonely.
It helped you avoid snacking, so you think it kept your weight down.
It let you disconnect from others when you wanted to.
It helped you connect with others. Other smokers. You hung out together outside once
no-smoking laws forbade you to smoking indoors.

Fair enough.

The important question is: do you prefer to avoid early aging, smelly hair, yellow, brown or missing teeth, not to mention the serious illnesses caused or made worse by smoking— or do you prefer to smoke?

Another good question is: Can you get something to do, look like you're doing something, choose healthier, low calorie snacking to stay lean, and find other ways to connect and disconnect from others as you choose? If you can, you simply don't need to smoke.

But smokers like to smoke because when they were young, they learned to connect it with independence. The Marlboro Man looked pretty independent, didn't he? Maybe, but not as much when he was hooked up to oxygen so he could breathe.

So if you love independence and doing what you want to do instead of being told, the answer is simple. You can choose independence from cigarette companies, restaurants that ban smoking, friends who urge you to smoke with them and friends who nag you to stop smoking. You can just choose to quit smoking. Simply because you—and nobody else—said so. And that's that. Feels pretty powerful, independent, and freeing—doesn't it? Copyright 2007 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights reserved.

And here is another random article you might be interested in...

Strategies For Successful Business Networking

Networking is a popular buzzword these days. Every blogger seems to be talking about Networking, Buzz Marketing and Word of Mouth Marketing. However, not many of them seem to be presenting specific strategies for making the most of local networking groups. This is why I decided to write this article.

There are a variety of organizations that run networking groups across the country. The largest group is probably BNI, which offers members the chance to attend weekly meetings and develop new professional relationships to help them grow their business. some chambers of commerce are now organizing "leads groups" for their members as well. These groups are intended to offer members a way to connect with each other and potentially refer each other business.

In most "leads groups" each group allows no more then one representative from any industry, so if the group has a mortgage broker other mortgage brokers have to join another group or wait for the seat to open up. The idea is that by restricting membership, you eliminate competition within the group.

The agenda at most structured networking meetings is pretty straightforward. Each member is given an opportunity to introduce themselves, then there is a short presentation by one or two members (each member gets the chance eventually). The meeting ends with members discussing potential referrals for each other. This means that most of the members get about one minute to present who they are and teach the other members of the group how to refer to them.

Most people do a great job of presenting themselves. However, most people do not think to ask for referrals. At most networking events, you are not expected to ask for a referral or explain what a good referral for you is. However, at a leads group it is not only acceptable, it is expected!

I am involved in a number of networking groups and have used the simple outline below to create my elevator pitch (quick introduction). When I deliver my elevator pitch to a leads group, my goal is to educate everyone in the room about my company and what I do, as well as to teach them the best way to refer others to me. In addition, I want to make sure I actually ask for a specific referral. I will go through each piece of the outline in detail, but here are the basics.

Introduction
-- Name
-- Position + company name
-- Location of the company
Overview of services
Tell a story
Call to action

The introduction piece of your presentation should stay the same every time you give it. You might say something like, "My name is Joe Smith. I am mortgage broker at ABC mortgages in Anytown, USA. We offer a full line of residential and commercial mortgage products." You can add some additional detail, but you should really focus on keeping this short and on point.

At each meeting, you will have the chance to differentiate yourself from the competition by telling a short story during your presentation. The story can be related to a specific challenge you helped a client overcome, a unique feature of your product or service, or you can simply talk about a new development at your company. Consider writing out your stories in advance so you know what you are going to say at each meeting. In addition, you can schedule the content so that the other members of your group learn more and more about you at each meeting. You need to focus on educating your group a little more each week.

The "call to action" is very important and the piece that most people overlook. You need to tell the other members of your group exactly what type of referral you are looking for. For example, our mortgage broker, Joe Smith, might say, "Today a good referral for me would be a Realtor at XYZ real estate company." Joe may also say, "Today a good referral for me would be anyone who purchased their home more then 10 years ago."

I alway recommend that your "call to action" is as specific as possible. If Joe stands up and says that a good referral would be anyone who needs a mortgage, the rest of the group will have a harder time thinking of people to refer. If Joe asks for an introduction to a specific person at a specific company, someone in the group may know that person or know someone at that company who can facilitate Joe's introduction. The more specific the request, the more likely it is to trigger someone else in the group's memory.

A last minute hint:

Keep focused on the networks of the people in the group, not on the people themselves. In other words, when you are participating in a networking or leads group, you should not focus on gaining the business of the people at the table. Instead, you should focus on gaining their trust so that they will refer you people in their network.